Light and Dark, Beginning and End, Cheesecake and Diet
by Donjusticia
Summary: Ray remembers how she met Zarc one way, Zarc recalls things...er...slightly differently. Please enjoy the collaborative work by Shimmering-Sky and Doccy Larsson Seraphim, before enjoying this multi-chapter parody.
1. Girl Meets Stalker

**DISCLAIMER!**

 **THE FOLLOWING IS A NEW RECORD FOR DONJUSTICIA. TWO FANFICS POSTED IN LESS THAN AN HOUR!? WHOOHOO! OH AND, PLEASE SUPPORT SHIMMERING-SKY AND DOCCY LARSSON SERAPHIM BY READING THEIR WONDERFUL COLLABORATIVE WORK, "LIGHT AND DARK, BEGINNING AND END."**

Light and Dark, Beginning and End, Cheesecake and Diet

 _"_ _W-w-will you be my waifu?" / "What!? No, you baka! We're just friends!"_

WHAT RAY SAID 

I'm looking through the playground to find somebody to play hopscotch with, but this one dork keeps staring at me.

It's kind of creepy to be honest. I try to ignore him, but he keeps staring at me with a pair of yellow eyes, which, for some inexplicable reason, have demonic slits instead of pupils.

I close my eyes for a moment and turn around quickly, hoping to get him out of my field of vision…

…and that's when our eyes meet.

He's not unattractive to be perfectly honest. Actually, he's kind of cute. But the way he keeps drooling as he stares at my…my…"HEY!" I shout, "My eyes are up here!"

"H-h-h-hi." He stutters as his eyes quickly dart up to my face.

"Hi?" I reply, wondering what is going on.

He responds as if what I just said is the nicest thing anyone has ever said to him.

"She didn't call me freak! She didn't try to exorcise me with a wooden cross! She didn't throw holy water at my face!" he exults, jumping up and down with glee.

"So uh…what's your name?" I ask, trying to stay civil.

Suddenly he looks like he's going to panic.

"She asked me what my name is!" he whispers to himself. "Should I tell her what my name is!?"

" ** _No fool!"_** He snarls to himself, **_"Precious must not tell foolish mortal girl Precious's name!"_**

"But I like her!" the boy protests.

"Are you okay?" I ask, backing away slowly. Did this guy wander from an insane asylum?

"It's Zarc!" he replies, looking embarrassed.

"What?" I ask.

"My name." He mumbles, a blush spreading over his face.

Zarc? I can see why he's embarrassed. It reminds me of how I used to be teased over my own silly name. Instantly, feelings of sympathy cause me to completely forget about all the weird vibes I'm feeling from this guy and embrace him.

"Oh I am so sorry you have a funny name!" I cry, patting Zarc on the back in order to comfort him. "LET'S BE FRIENDS FOREVER FROM THIS DAY FORTH!"

"W-w-w-what's your name?" Zarc asks as I pull away from the hug and take his hands in my own. (Okay, if I'm being completely honest with myself, this guy is REALLY cute).

"Oh…uhm…it's Ray." I reply. "You know…like…like a ray of light. A ray of light which is one day destined to rise up and oppose the darkness of a demon that threatens to destroy the world. That kind of Ray."

"Oh." Zarc replies, nodding his head in agreement.

There is an awkward silence afterwards.

"Will you be my Waifu?" Zarc asks, looking hopeful.

I'm honestly taken aback by this.

"What!? No, you baka! We're just friends!" I reply indignantly.

"Oh…uh…okay." He replies awkwardly.

Just then, my dad, Leo, and my mom, Horakhty, arrive to break the tension.

"Whelp, I've gotta go!" I apologize, waving to Zarc before Leo scoops me up in his arms and walks me out of the park. "I'll see you later!"

Yeah…I'm probably never gonna see him again.

WHAT ZARC HEARD 

After three years of staring through her bedroom window at night, going through her trash to collect all the pieces of chewing gum she had thrown away, and weaving every strand of hair she had ever shed into a tapestry of her, I've finally plucked up the courage to stare at her in broad daylight at the park.

She's even more beautiful than the photos I glued into a massive collage of her face.

So breathtaking, so perfect, so unlike the ugly demons who have raised me. I could stare at her face forever…which I am technically doing at the moment.

Yep, this is one of the few pleasures I have in my life. Nobody really wants to be my friend, or even speak to me, except for my dragons. Did I mention I talk to dragons? I like talking to dragons, and other duel monster cards, but the voices in my head are telling me not to elaborate on this any further. I don't want to get them mad at me again. Boy do I love talking to dragons.

She turns her head away and I immediately react, running around as fast as I can in order to keep eye-contact with her utterly beautiful face.

But just as I'm about to make eye contact with her again, I stumble in the sand, and I end up glancing down at…at…what on earth are those things on her chest? THEY'RE BEAUTIFUL!

For what seems like an eternity, I can only gaze transfixed at the orbs underneath her shirt. Instinctively, my hands begin twitching when…

"Hey…" the girl of my dreams calls in an utterly beautiful and angelic voice, "you should stare at my beautiful face instead."

"Yes my queen!" I internally say to myself before complying with her demands.

When I look into her face again, my mind immediately goes blank. How can anyone be so beautiful!? I can't blow this! I have to say something! **_I HAVE TO BECOME ONE WITH HER!_**

"H-h-h-hi." I lamely stutter.

What a stupid response! I might as well have just told her that I like talking to dragons! I can see what will happen now! Now she will be trying to drive a stake through my heart like that one lady did just yesterday!

But despite my expectations, the girl does exactly the opposite.

"Hi." She breathes, long eyelashes fluttering like butterfly wings as she gazes upon me with eyes that sparkle like diamonds.

I can't believe what is going on! SHE TALKED TO ME…AGAIN! AND NOT JUST TO SAY HOW SHE WAS GOING TO KILL ME! I begin rejoicing at my wondrous fortune when she asks me a question.

"So…hotstuff." She breathes, "What's your name?"

Oh I am so turned on right now, but why did she have to ask me that question!? My name is literally demonic for, "One who will destroy the world by using Astrograph Magician to fuse into Odd-Eyes Dragon, Starve Venom Fusion Dragon, Clear Wing Synchro Dragon, and Dark Rebellion Xyz Dragon, in order to form Supreme Dragon King Zarc!" (Yeah, demon names are oddly specific that way).

"She asked me what my name is!" I whisper to myself. "Should I tell her what my name is!?"

" ** _No fool!"_** The voices in my head reply, **_"Precious must not tell foolish mortal girl Precious's name!"_**

"But I like her!" I tell them. And it's true! The voices in my head could never understand my feelings.

"Have no fear!" the girl reassures me, looking upon me like an angel. "I am the perfect woman of your dreams! I will never judge you as a demonic lunatic based on your name!"

Her words give me the strength I need to reply.

"It's Zarc!" I reply, hoping she won't laugh.

"What an interesting word." The girl muses, "And do tell me, handsome boy who I am totally attracted to, what is the significance of this…Zarc?"

"My name." I mumble, a blush spreading over my face.

I expect the girl to push me away, to reject me like everyone else has. But to my utter astonishment, she does exactly the opposite again! Sighing with joy, she rushes forward and enfolds me in her arms, delicate hands caressing my back as she does.

"Oh my darling Zarc!" she exclaims, "I love you even more now that I know your name! LET'S GET MARRIED AND HAVE FOUR KIDS TOGETHER!"

I HAVE DONE IT! I have conquered her heart! I knew I could do it! My dragons told me I could! But now I must know her name!

"W-w-w-what's your name?" I ask as the beautiful angel takes my hands in her own and gazes upon me with a loving expression.

"It is Ray." She sighs, "The very same as the rays of light which stream from the heavens, lighting the hearts of all with their heavenly glows just as I am lighting up your heart with my own heavenly glow, my beloved!"

"Oh." I reply, nodding my head in agreement. Really, there's not much more I can say to that. It's such a perfect name.

I hesitate for a moment, wondering if I should take the next step. But then again, she DID practically propose to me a few moments ago.

"Will you be my Waifu?" I ask, looking hopeful.

Ray seems to consider for just a moment.

"The time has not come yet, my love." She whispers, "When the stars have aligned and my overprotective father gives his blessing, then you can sweep me off my feet and take me to your home in the fiery shadow realm."

"Oh…uh…okay." I reply figuring that her demands were very reasonable indeed.

Just then, a strange overprotective fatherly figure scoops my darling angelic Ray into his arms while a tall angelic woman glares at me. I hiss as the dad holds up a cross and carries her off, but I still manage to catch Ray's last words as we get separated.

"Come back to me, my love!" Ray calls, "Have no fear! We shall meet again!"

"Yes!" I tell myself, even as the voices in my head advise me against it. "With the help of my imaginary duel monster friends, I will find you, and then we shall become one! **_WE SHALL BECOME ONE!"_**

 **NEXT TIME ON "LIGHT AND DARK, BEGINNING AND END, CHEESECAKE AND DIET!"**

 ** _"_** ** _You're not supposed to KILL your opponent's when you duel! Gee, Zarc, were you taught ANYTHING!?" / "Be a good sport and duel for fun? What is this strange morality you speak of?"_**


	2. Dueling in Non-Violent Ways?

**_"_** ** _You're not supposed to KILL your opponent's when you duel! Gee, Zarc, were you taught ANYTHING!?" / "Be a good sport and duel for fun? What is this strange morality you speak of?"_**

WHAT RAY SAID

 _"_ _That could have been him."_ I tell myself as I walk down the street. _"No…wait…that's just an old guy with white hair."_

I was kind of hoping I would just forget about Zarc and move on, but lately…well…how do I put this...I've sort of been obsessing over him to the point where I stop every person with white hair in the street just to see if they are him or not.

"ARE YOU ZARC!?" I ask a person with white hair before she turns around to reveal an old grandma. Hastily, I bow to her in apology before noticing another organism with white hair.

"ARE YOU ZARC!?" I quickly ask, hoping against all hope that it will really be him this time.

There is a long pause.

"That's okay, take your time." I soothe, staring down at the person before realizing with great embarrassment that I had been starring at a white poodle for half an hour.

 _"_ _Okay Ray, get a grip."_ I tell myself. _"Just because Zarc was the single most hottest guy you have ever met in your life does not mean you need to turn into a crazy Yandere over him. I mean, it's not like he's obsessing over you. I should just move on and-…"_

And that's when I notice him…or rather…smell him in the abandoned park where we first met.

The crowd gathered around him is strange. They are all dressed in black robes with inverted pentagrams painted in some red substance over the front. Half of them are carrying candelabras, and all of them are chanting in Latin for some reason. Zarc is also there, engaging in a duel (if you can call it that), with somebody who is dressed like a sacrificial victim.

The gathered cultists increase the volume of their chants as Zarc summons two dragons, which charge at the man and knock him to the ground before two robed individuals march forward and strap the defeated individual to a stone altar.

Zarc proceeds to the altar with solemn gravity, a sharp and pointy object in his hand. He'd better be careful with that! Doesn't he know he could accidentally sacrifice the loser if he's not careful?

That's when he pauses, suddenly noticing me.

He blushes a deep crimson red, as if he's been caught doing something wrong, before pocketing the suspicious looking sharp object, ordering the crowds of gathered occultists to disperse, and walking briskly away down a dark alleyway.

But I'm determined not to let him get away. Plowing through rows upon rows of robed occultists, I manage to catch up to him before he gets away.

"Couldn't you have at least waited for me, you baka?" I ask Zarc, heaving with every breath.

He stares at me, looking extremely embarrassed before nervously responding with, "Hi?"

I can't help but laugh. Even in his demonic robes, he hasn't changed a bit from the awkward, shy, and sensitive boy I've idealized in my memories.

"It's okay, Zarc." I giggle. "Friends forgive each other after all, and we are friends…right?"

"…sure…" he replies, looking nervous before hastily whispering, "Why are you here, Ray!? I promised the voices in my head that there wouldn't be any interruptions to the shadow duel!"

"Speaking of which." I reply, remembering the strange duel I saw Zarc doing. "What was up with that duel you were doing? It looked like you were about to sacrifice your opponent after he lost to you."

Zarc begins fidgeting VERY nervously now.

"Uhm…well…you see…" he whimpers, "I sort of…was…going to sacrifice him?"

I roll my eyes in exasperation. He's still super cute, but it's clear to me now that he's a bit of a fixer-upper.

"You're not supposed to KILL your opponent's when you duel! Gee, Zarc, were you taught ANYTHING!?" I scold.

Zarc is looking very confused.

"Here, let me explain." I continue, "When you duel, the objective isn't to utterly destroy your opponent and offer his/her soul to the shadow realm, the objective is to be a good sport, even if you lose, and make sure everyone has fun!"

"Be a good sport and duel for fun? What is this strange morality you speak of?" Zarc asks, looking even more bewildered than before.

"Here, how about I show you." I chuckle, pulling out my deck.

Zarc's face suddenly illuminates with pure joy.

"S-s-s-show me? L-l-l-like a d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-date!?"

"Hey, our not-date doesn't happen until chapter 3." I scold.

"O-o-o-oh…right…t-t-thank you." He finishes with a grin.

I smile back. This is exactly why I've missed him so much…and secretly sketched a full sized portrait of him in my room. He's just so adorable! (If not a little…okay…a lot weird at times). But still, something tells me we are going to be great friends!

And there is absolutely no way our relationship could ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, go wrong.

WHAT ZARC HEARD

I don't have a lot of things.

I don't have a lot of friends.

But at least I have a few people I can talk with.

No matter where I am, I can always talk to the voices in my head. Plus I can also talk to my dragons. Did I mention I like talking to dragons?

My dragons are always there to cheer me up when I'm feeling sad, and to protect me when the priests try to banish my darkness from the material plane. I love my dragons, they're great to talk to, but right now, the voices in my head are telling me to shut up about that again.

The only other thing that makes me happy is thinking about Ray…oh sweet Ray! You are the only one who understands me! And some day, I will be with you just like I am with my dragons. I love my dragons. Almost as much as I love Ray.

But today I can't think about her. The voices in my head have been speaking to me again. They've been telling me to do things…evil things…and I must comply with what the voices in my head say!

In just a few minutes, I am about to summon the Dark Master of the Shadow Realm himself. I've already defeated my opponent in the duel and now all that needs to be done is offering his soul to the shadows as a sacrifice!

And that's when I notice her…or rather…taste her, in the background. For a second, I am so happy to see, hear, smell, and taste her again, that I almost stop the ritual right then in order to be with her again, when the voices in my head stop me once again.

 ** _"_** ** _She must not know about us!"_** they hiss. **_"QUICKLY! Flee before she tries to stop us!"_**

"Yes master!" I reply, quickly complying with the voice's order. It's a little embarrassing to be honest. What would Ray think of me if she ever found out about my demonic heritage and culture? I have to get out of here before she learns too much!

I follow the directions of the voices in my head as they lead me down a dark alleyway, but the sound of Ray's utterly angelic voice stops me.

"Wait, Zarc, my love!" she calls. "I cannot live without you! Come to my side and embrace me as we did in the park!"

 _I rush forward and embrace her, holding her close while whispering, "Never fear, Ray! I shall always be by your side forever! For better or worse! No matter how much the voices in my head protest against it!"_

Or at least…that's what I wish I had done.

"Hi?" I lamely reply, having no idea what to say.

 _"_ _What a stupid response!"_ I tell myself. _"Come on, Zarc! You had one chance to not blow it, and you blew it! Now she's gonna leave you forever, and all because of your stupid response!"_

But she doesn't leave. Instead, she does something that makes her even more angelic and beautiful in my eyes.

She laughs.

"Oh Zarc, you are so funny!" she tinkles in her beautiful angelic voice. "Truly we are lovers who have been destined for one another since the beginning!"

"…sure…" I reply, brain completely fried once again by her utter and complete perfection.

But that's when the voices in my head begin speaking to me again.

 ** _"_** ** _ZARC! YOU KNOW YOUR DESTINY! WHY ARE YOU LETTING THIS GIRL GET IN THE WAY OF YOU DESTROYING THE WORLD!? STRIKE HER DOWN RIGHT NOW AND COMPLETE THE RITUAL, AND YOUR JOURNEY TOWARDS THE DARK SIDE WILL BE COMPLETE!"_**

I can't let them destroy Ray! I can't disobey them forever! I have to warn Ray before it's too late!

"Why are you here, Ray!? I hastily whisper, "I promised the voices in my head that there wouldn't be any interruptions to the shadow duel!"

"Zarc…" Ray sighs, shaking her angelic head with sorrow, "why did it look like you were going to sacrifice your opponent in that duel to the powers of darkness?"

She has caught me! I want to lie to her, but my dragon friends begin speaking to me.

"Yo dawg!" Dark Rebellion Xyz Dragon jams, "You aint thinkin' about lyin' to Ray now is ya!?"

"Yeah!" Starve Venom Fusion Dragon agrees, "She's your friend! You should be totally and completely honest with her!"

"Do you really think so?" I whisper to my dragons.

"We all think so!" Starve Venom laughs. "Right guys?"

"I just want to take revenge on the stupid and violent human race." Odd-Eyes Dragon rumbles.

"Ditto." Clear Wing growls.

"Thanks guys!" I whisper. I love my dragons. They give me great advice. Did I mention I enjoy talking to them?

Still, telling the sweet angelic Ray the truth is hard.

"Uhm…well…you see…" I whimper, "I sort of…was…going to sacrifice him?"

Ray slowly shakes her angelic head.

"Zarc, Zarc, Zarc, you must let go of your destructive and demonic tendencies and embrace the light of peace and entertainment! Embrace each of your opponents as a friend and draw closer to them as a friend while having fun in your duels!"

"Be a good sport and duel for fun? What is this strange morality you speak of?" I ask. Truly, it is a wisdom that is beyond me. I must learn more from this heavenly angel!

"Come with me, Zarc!" Ray instructs, "And I shall show you the ways of good sportsmanship and entertainment dueling in an utterly and completely romantic setting!"

My mind explodes. All that is left of me is feelings of complete and utter joy.

"S-s-s-show me? L-l-l-like a d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-date!?"

"Patience, Zarc!" Ray soothes, "We shall express our full romantic feelings for one another in the next chapter!"

"O-o-o-oh…right…t-t-thank you." I reply, unable to believe how absolutely wonderful she is. This is exactly why I've missed her so much…and secretly built a giant 50 foot tall shrine of her. I don't know if it's the voices speaking to me again, but something tells me we are going to love each other forever!

And there is absolutely no way our relationship could ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, end up going downhill when I randomly decide to destroy the world.


	3. It's not a Make-Out Session? Seriously!

**DISCLAIMER!**

 **SHIMMERING-SKY, DOCCY LARSSON SERAPHIM, NOT MINE, ENJOY!**

 _"It's not a make-out session! / Yeah, it is."  
_

WHAT RAY SAID

"Odd-Eyes Dragon, d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-direct attack! Unless, of course, you don't want to, in which case, I totally understand," Zarc stutters as he communicates to the tangible dragon hologram he claims is one of his best friends.

Odd-Eyes, however, seems perfectly eager to om-nom-nom Zarc's opponent, and so, without a second of hesitation, it mercilessly lets out a stream of multi-colored fire which utterly decimates Zarc's opponent, sending him flying through the air before landing roughly on the ground.

"YOU DID IT!" I cheer in congratulations, before leaping over the dividers and giving Zarc a hug. I really am very happy for my friend. With this last duel, he has finally qualified for the regional championship whose specific name will never be known because it will forever remain ambiguous.

Zarc seems happy too. He returns my embrace by hugging me back with a great deal of enthusiasm and vigor... A little too much vigor.

"Z-Z-Z-Zarc!" I gasp as his hug begins to compact me into a two-dimensional figure.

"Preciousssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss!" Zarc hisses in my ear, apparently completely unaware of the fact that my face has now turned a remarkable shade of blue.

I try to say something along the lines of, "Please, stop, that's enough, I need to breathe!" but my compacted lungs only enable me to get out something along the lines of, "Gajgkaljkljkldsfjaklfjdkljfdkljasdfklhagoijaigohglblaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"

"Sorry, I didn't quite catch that, could you repeat yourself?" Zarc asks as he nuzzles his nose against my neck. It would really be so romantic if I wasn't currently asphyxiating.

"Gajgkaljkljkldsfjaklfjdkljfdkljasdfklhagoijaigohglblaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" I repeat, carefully enunciating each word.

"WHAT!? Clear Wing and Dark Rebellion are arguing again over whose job it is to do the dishes!? Well I'll be sure to straighten them out after I finish hugging you." Zarc vows.

"GAFGKALJKLJKLDSFJAKLFJDKLJFDKLJASDFKLHAGOIJAIGOHGLBLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" I angrily repeat a third time as my vision begins to black out.

"Oooooooooooooooohhhhhhhh!" Zarc realizes, "You weren't talking about my dragons at all. You were actually saying, and I quote, "Zarc, would you kindly be a gentleman and cease compressing my lungs and circulatory system in such an aggressive manner? You must keep in mind that unlike you, I am still a mortal girl and therefore require a consistent supply of oxygenated blood to reach my brain in order to maintain vital life functions.' Sorry for misunderstanding you, Ray, sometimes I feel like I obsess over my dragons a little too much."

This is where I would normally make an angry retort right back at Zarc. Unfortunately, I am far too clinically brain dead to even move my mouth. Bleh…

…

…

…

"RAY!" I suddenly hear Zarc shout as my body reflexively gasps for air before regaining consciousness.

"W-w-what happened?" I ask, feeling extremely light-headed.

"N-n-n-n-n-nothing," Zarc hastily replies, looking very uncomfortable.

"Did I black out?" I groan, before shakily getting back to my feet.

"…Yes." Zarc replies, almost as there is something he is hiding. The next thing I know, he is patting me on the back telling me that he's sorry and that he doesn't fully know his own demonic strength gifted to him by his lord and master Zorc himself…or something like that. Like heck he doesn't know his own strength. Just yesterday, I saw him bench press an SUV for his morning workout. Actually…now I come to think about it, is there something about that incident that should cause alarm bells to go off?

When he leans in to check on me, I do what any reasonable and sane person would do and karate kick him in the face before locking him in a headlock and throwing him to the ground. (Yeah, I'm kind of a self-defense fanatic that way). But really, he ought to be more careful!

When he gets up off the ground, I begin lecturing him about being considerate when he's using his immense demonic strength, but judging by the stupid look on his face, and the fact that he seems to be talking to his imaginary dragon friends again, he doesn't seem to be paying attention to me.

By the time we reach the locker room, I decide to drop the subject, because everyone knows that locker rooms are the places where it's obligatory to drop subjects, even the most vitally important ones (hopefully, this little detail won't foreshadow some future tragic plot point in this story). When he finishes packing up his things, he shoots me with that same stupid, airheaded, brain-dead…warm, sincere, affectionate, dreamy, sexy look that instantly makes me forget about the fact that he nearly garroted me. I can never stay mad at him with that face…or remember any of his other destructive flaws, for that matter.

"So…did…did I please you with my dueling skills, Ray-senpai?" Zarc nervously asks.

I can't lie to him either. "Yeah, you actually did really great," I admit. "I mean…you were a little excessive when you accidentally destroyed six city blocks and razed a factory to the ground, but other than that…you were amazing."

He hastily cuts me off with a panicked expression on his face, insisting that he is merely the unholy vessel for his lord and master, Zorc-sama, who bestowed him with the power of his vile and demonic dragon friends who he loves like family members because they are nice to him and understand him and he talks to them because talking to trading cards is natural. Gosh, Zarc's face is so cute. I can't even remember what we were talking about!

"So do you understand now?" Zarc asks.

I blink a bit, trying to not let myself get distracted by his face, before responding with, "Uhm…yeah, I, uh…"

Darn it! I've let myself daydream again, and now I sound like a complete jerk who doesn't care! I've gotta change the subject...and fast!

"WANNA HELP ME MAKE MY DECK BETTER?" I blurt out without thinking. I can't believe I let myself say something so lame, but it was all I could come up with. I internally scold myself for making it look like I'm some kind of second-rate duelist, but I've got no other choice but to roll with what I've said!

Zarc isn't helping much either.

"Y-you want me to…h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-hh-h—hh-h-h—hh-h-h-h-h-h-h—h-h-h-h-hh—hh-help you!?" he exclaims with a little TOO much enthusiasm

"I-it's not like I NEED your help or anything, you baka!" I protest, folding my arms over my chest before turning away from him. "I was just t-trying to b-be nice to you! Even though you and your dragons really are second rate!"

Apparently, that was the wrong choice of words.

Before I know what's happening, Zarc has pounced on me, forcing me to lie down on the ground with him on top of me as his eyes glow with demonic light and he raves about how he will destroy me and the entire world for daring to insult his precious dragons. Gosh, his face is so cute when he gets like that. Still, even though the handsomeness of his face has caused me to blissfully forget about the fact that I was nearly mauled by a demonic man-child, I still feel just a little uncomfortable. We've never been touching each other THIS close before outside of hugs…and that one time he tried to fuse our physical forms together with a copy of Super Polymerization while raving about becoming one.

Zarc looks a little embarrassed too. He breaks the ice with a nervous laugh before pushing himself off of me, a laugh I can't help but join in on. We continue laughing until my heart rate returns to normal and my face no longer feels like it's on fire…or recently slammed against the floor.

"So…" I start to say, "Did-did you want to-?"

"YES, RAY-SENPAI!" Zarc hastily replies, "We can buy some take-out and eat together at make-out point while we examine your deck."

Thank goodness he's not made this awkward in any way.

Wait…

"M-make-out point?" I ask. "Where couples…you know…make out?"

Zarc blushes.

"OF COURSE NOT!" he quickly replies. "I most definitely didn't suggest make-out point so we could consummate our budding romantic relationship in a series of passionate hugs and kisses! Why would you think that? This is totally not a make-out session! Definitely not!"

 _It's not a make-out session!  
_  
That's what I tell myself as I begin applying lipstick to my lips and popping in a couple breath mints before taking Zarc by the hand.

 _Yeah…it totally is._

WHAT ZARC HEARD

"Odd-Eyes Dragon, d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-direct attack! Unless, of course, you don't want to, in which case, I totally understand," I say to one of my best friends in the whole world aside from my precious darling, Ray.

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?" Odd-Eyes roars. "I HAVE DREAMED OF THIS MOMENT FOR MY ENTIRE LIFE! NOW, FINALLY, HUMANITY WILL SUFFER AT MY HANDS! FEEL MY WRATH, PUNY HUMAN!" he finishes before letting out a blast of multi-colored flame at my opponent. I really like Odd-Eyes, he's a nice dragon.

"ZARC, MY LOVE!" I hear my sweet and angelic Ray cheer in congratulations, before she flies across the field and lands into my outstretched arms. I have finally done it! Not only have I brought my lord and master, Zorc-sama, one step closer to enacting his vile will, but I have one the love of my precious Ray once and for all!

I am so happy, that I pour all my love and affection into my embrace. **ALL OF IT!  
**  
"Oh, Zarc! You are such an amazing hugger!" I hear Ray gasp as I affectionately compact her into cute little two-dimensional figure. "Squeeze me even harder!"

"Preciousssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss!" I affectionately whisper in her ear, glad to know that she is feeling just as blissful as I am.

As I enjoy the truly romantic and affectionate moment, the beautiful voice of Ray begins whispering words of love in my ear. Words which I can't quite make out, but which I know must be utterly beautiful.

"Sorry, I didn't quite catch that, could you repeat yourself?" I ask as I nuzzle my nose against her neck.

Suddenly, Ray's voice sounds a little more alarmed. Perking up my ears, my temper flares when I hear what is going on.

"WHAT!? Clear Wing and Dark Rebellion are arguing again over whose job it is to do the dishes!?" I exclaim, frustrated that their petty arguments STILL hadn't ended. I really love my dragons, like, a LOT! But I still have to be very firm with them. "Well I'll be sure to straighten them out after I finish hugging you." I vow, before letting Ray's rather squishy and delicate mortal body continue flattening against my own demonic chest.

Suddenly, Ray repeats herself.

"Oooooooooooooooohhhhhhhh!" I realize, having taken the time to actually listen to my darling Ray this time with my rather sensitive demonic ears that my lord and master, Zorc-sama, has gifted me with. "You weren't talking about my dragons at all. You were actually saying, and I quote, 'Zarc, would you kindly be a gentleman and cease compressing my lungs and circulatory system in such an aggressive manner? You must keep in mind that unlike you, I am still a mortal girl and therefore require a consistent supply of oxygenated blood to reach my brain in order to maintain vital life functions.' Sorry for misunderstanding you, Ray, sometimes I feel like I obsess over my dragons a little too much."

Ray looks like she is about to make a retort, unfortunately, for some reason, her eyes roll into the back of her head before her head flops limply against her shoulder.

That's when I get my first real lesson on the strange need for mortals to breathe.

It's also when I completely flip-out and use my demonic powers to bring her back to the mortal world.

 **"I WILL NOT LET YOU LEAVE THE MORTAL WORLD!"** I vow, as I draw upon my greatest demonic powers. **"WE ARE DESTINED TO BECOME ONE WITH EACH OTHER, AND I WILL LET NOTHING, NOT EVEN DEATH, KEEP US APART! IN THE NAME OF MY VILE MASTER, ZORC-SAMA, COME BACK TO ME NOW, RAY!"**

Upon invoking the name of my vile lord and master, Ray reflexively gasps for air before asking me what happened. She must never know!

"N-n-n-n-n-nothing." I hastily reply, certain that my innocent expression will deflect any of Ray's possible suspicions that I am in fact a demonic hell-spawn she should avoid at all costs.

"Did I black out?" she groans, before shakily getting back to her feet.

"…Yes," I reply, relieved that I have successfully hidden my dark secret from my one true love once again. Hoping to maintain control of the situation, I begin patting my beloved sweet darling Ray on her back while apologizing for using an excessive amount of strength gifted to me by my vile lord and master, Zorc-Sama.

Ray seems to still be in pain, so I lean in to use more of my demonic healing powers.

And that's when I learn that mortal girls apparently are gifted with a surprising amount of demonic strength of their own.

I think Ray is lecturing me about something, but my face and groin are currently in too much discomfort for me to process anything but, **"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH! THE PAIN! UNFORGIVABLE! YOU ARE UNFORGIVABLE! IF I WASN'T SO IN LOVE WITH YOU, I WOULD DESTROY YOU FOR THIS INSOLENCE!"**

Fortunately, by the time we reach the locker room, I'm feeling better and Ray decides to drop the subject, because everyone knows that locker rooms are the places where it's obligatory to drop subjects, even the most vitally important ones (hopefully, this little detail won't foreshadow some future tragic plot point in this story). I finish packing up my things, which consist of my dragons who I love with all my heart while still giving all my heart to my beloved Ray-senpai, before turning to Ray and asking:

"So…did…did I please you with my dueling skills, Ray-senpai?" I nervously ask.

"Yeah, you actually did really great," Ray replies, causing my evil black heart to flutter with joy. "I mean…you were a little excessive when you accidentally destroyed six city blocks and razed a factory to the ground, but other than that…you were amazing."

I gasp in shock when she mentions that it was MY dueling skills that enabled me to succeed. Doesn't she know that what she is speaking is blasphemy to my vile dark master, Zorc-sama!? He who has gifted me with my all-powerful demonic dragons who I love and care for and talk to because I love my dragons and would do anything for my dragons even if it meant destroying all of humanity by fusing with my dragons because I love my dragons and talk to my dragons!?

I ask Ray if she understands the great danger that comes from displeasing our vile lord and master, Zorc-sama.  
"Uhm…yeah, I, uh…" Ray replies, sounding utterly sincere. I'm glad she listens to me. She's just like my dragons who have always listened to me and who I love because they are my best friends who talk to me when no other humans will talk to me because they don't believe me when I say I talk to my dragons because I love my dragons.

"WANNA HELP ME MAKE MY DECK BETTER, MY DARLING ZARC?" Ray suddenly blurts out. "I PROMISE THAT IF YOU WILL HELP ME WITH MY DECK, THEN I SHALL BE YOURS FOR ALL TIME AND YOU CAN BECOME ONE WITH ME LIKE YOU'VE ALWAYS WANTED!"

At least, I'm pretty sure that's what she said.

Unfortunately, rather than saying something romantic in return, I'll I manage to stutter is, "Y-you want me to…h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-hh-h—hh-h-h—hh-h-h-h-h-h-h—h-h-h-h-hh—hh-help you!?"

I must have said something wrong, because the next thing I know, Ray responds with, "I-it's not like I NEED your help or anything, you baka! I was just t-trying to b-be nice to you! Even though you and your dragons really are second rate!"

Aw man. I really am hopeless when it comes to romance. I guess it's back to talking to my dragons.

Wait…did she just insult my dragons?

 **"I WILL DESTROY YOU AND THE REST OF THE WORLD FOR YOU INSOLENCE!"** I roar, pouncing on top of Ray while my eyes glow with demonic light. I am just about to use my demonic powers to banish Ray to the Shadow Realm, when I notice Ray looking into my face with a dreamy look in her eyes. Something about that look makes me pause. A little embarrassed, I realize that I've let myself lose control and go berserk again. I've really got to stop doing that. One of these days, I'll destroy the entire world if I don't keep my demonic temper in check.

I nervously relive tension by getting off of Ray and laughing. Not like an insane person, mind you, because I am totally not insane. My dragons have told me so. After a few moments, Ray turns to me before asking:

"So…Did-did you want to-?"

I quickly interrupt her, knowing that we need no words to express our mutual passionate desires!

"YES RAY-SENPAI!" I hastily reply. "We can buy some take-out and eat together at make-out point while we examine your deck."

Thank goodness I managed to not make that awkward in any way! Finally, Ray and I shall become one! And then we can become a family! And then I can talk to someone other than my dragons, not that I dislike my dragons, I really do, I REALLY love my dragons! But then with Ray by my side, I can finally be happy! And then together we can fulfill the will of Zorc-sama and utterly destroy-…!

"M-make-out point?" Ray suddenly asks, breaking my train of thought. "Where couples…you know…make out?"

Suddenly, I realize the enormity of my error! I've gone to far! I must quickly fix this situation before it gets out of hand and I lose my beloved Ray forever! Oh, Zorc-sama will not be pleased if I fail! Zorc-sama will not be pleased at all!

"OF COURSE NOT!" I quickly reply. "I most definitely didn't suggest make-out point so we could consummate our budding romantic relationship in a series of passionate hugs and kisses! Why would you think that? This is totally not a make-out session! Definitely not!"

 _It's not a make-out session! Not yet!_ _ **I shall become one with you later!**_


	4. To be Overprotective of Loved Ones

**DISCLAIMER!**

 **THE FOLLOWING IS ONE OF MANY BIRTHDAY PRESENTS DONJUSTICIA IS LAVISHING ON SHIMMERING-SKY ON HER SPECIAL DAY. B-B-B-B-B-BUT N-N-N-N-N-NOT BECAUSE HE LIKES HER WRITING…OR ANYTHING…YOU STUPID BAKAS! READ THE ORIGINAL STORY BY SHIMMERING-SKY AND DOCCY LARSSON SERAPHIM!  
**  
"Hey, ma'am, do you happen to know what time it is? / "DIE, FILTHY HUMAN WHO DARED TOUCH MY RAY-SENPAI!"

What Ray Said:

I like to think that I am a responsible girl. That's why when Zarc asked me to meet him at 12:00 at night in the middle of Sleazebucket Alley for a "date" (and yes, for some reason he put that word in quotes) I made sure to put on my absolutely most eye-catching clothing and lipstick while only packing one canister of pepper spray in my purse in the very, very, very, very unlikely event that someone with evil intentions saw me in the dark and secluded meeting point where nobody, not even the cops, can hear you scream.

I settle on one of the benches, brushing off all the used syringes when suddenly, completely out of the blue, a strange man in a rather ragged trench coat approaches me.

"Hey, ma'am, do you happen to know what time it is?" the man asks, indicating his bare wrist where his watch would be if he could afford one.

I quickly whip out my phone, I mean, Duel Disk, before glancing at the time.

"It's almost 12:15," I mutter, frustrated that Zarc has decided to arrive late again. Where is that baka anyway?

"Mighty obliged, ma'am," the shady man replies with a respectful tip of his hat. "It's nice to meet a kind young lady like you every once in a while," he adds, gently patting my hand before turning to leave.

He barely manages to make it two steps before Zarc suddenly descends from above and begins pummeling the man with rather demonic fury.

 **"DIE, FILTHY HUMAN WHO DARED TOUCH MY RAY-SENPAI!"** Zarc roars while pummeling the man I just barely finished speaking to into the pavement **. "I SHALL TEAR YOU APART AND FEED WHAT IS LEFT OF YOU TO MY DRAGON FRIENDS WHO I TALK TO ON A REGULAR BASIS IN CASE YOU DIDN'T KNOW THAT!"**

"Zarc, stop beating up the innocent bystander," I sigh, feeling annoyed that Zarc still thinks he needs to devour the souls of anyone who even remotely threatens his relationship with me.

"Seriously, man," I continue, "I was just talking to him. You need to calm down."

 **"MY RAGE SHALL NEVER BE SATIATED!"** Zarc roars back, punching the man until a crater opens up in the pavement. **"EVEN IF I LITERALLY HAVE TO DESTROY THE ENTIRE HUMAN RACE IN A GENOCIDAL RAMPAGE, I SHALL NEVER LET ANYONE HURT YOU, MY BELOVED RAY!"**

"Zarc…" I groan.

 **"…AND AFTER I FINISH ANNIHILATING EVERY BOY THAT EVER GLANCED IN YOUR GENERAL DIRECTION…"**

"Zarc?"

 **"OR EVEN DARED TO SPEAK YOUR NAME…"**

"Zarc!"

 **"LIKE…EVEN IF THEY JUST CASUALLY SAID 'RAY' IN A SENTENCE ABOUT SUNLIGHT…THEN I SHALL NOT STOP UNTIL THEY ARE ALL DESTROYED!"**

"ZARC!" I shout, finally getting my boyfriend's attention.

"What is it, my sweet, beloved, darling, angelic Ray-Senpai who I would literally do anything, and I mean…ANYTHING…for?" Zarc asks, momentarily pausing in his annihilation of the now unconscious man.

"Look, I know you're just trying to protect me and all," I explain, as I brush the unconscious man under a nearby bench with my foot. "But you can't just overreact all the time and disintegrate everyone who glances in my general direction."

"I disintegrate just one guy," Zarc mutters, "and I never get to live it down."

"Zarc, are you listening to me?" I sigh.

"Yes, ma'am." Zarc replies, looking me square in the eyes.

I roll my eyes at him but continue, "Look, Zarc, it's really sweet that you have such an unhealthy obsession over me, but I don't need you to be so overprotective. I can handle myself."

"But what if someone really tries to hurt you!?" Zarc moans, nervously wringing his hands together. "The voices in my head have been telling me that everyone is plotting to take you from me! And my dragons have been noticing it too! I can't let that happen! I can't let **ANYTHING** come between us!"

"I'm just saying it's a little excessive. Can't you…I don't know…tone it down a bit?" I ask.

Zarc seems to consider my words for a minute.

"Okay…I'm sorry," he replies, hanging his head down in shame. "I didn't realize I was upsetting you. I'll try not to overreact in the future…even though I love you **SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO** much and will continue to fret over your safety every second of my life."

"Oh, my gosh, hearing you obsess over me turns me on so much!" I breathe, stepping towards Zarc.  
"Wait, you're feeling…?"

I shut him up by shoving my lips against his face.

WHAT ZARC HEARD:

"Crap, crap, crap!" I think to myself as I use my demonic super speed to sprint across the dark shady alleyways where nobody, not even the police, can hear you scream. "I can't believe I'm late for our 'date!'" And yes, I put that in quotation marks, I'm honestly not sure why.

"Oh, don't you worry!" says Starve Venom Fusion Dragon, trying to reassure me. "Ray will forgive you for being a teensy bit late. And besides, after you show her the sweet gift you bought for her, she will be so overjoyed…" he begins to squeal with delight from all eight of his mouths, "…she'll forget all about you being late and just wanna love you as much as you love her!"

"You're the reason I'm late in the first place!" I growl at Starve Venom. "If you hadn't held me up at the department store just so you could buy Moon-Light Leo Dancer a copy of Moon Mirror Shield, then I might have been able to be meet Ray on time!"

"I just thought Leo Dancer would look great with Moon Mirror Shield," Starve Venom whines.

"Oh, please," Clear Wing huffs, sounding extremely annoyed. "Moon Mirror Shield is the last thing Leo Dancer needs. It doesn't even mesh well with her play style. Sorry, Venom, but you're not winning any points with your girlfriend that way."

"And speaking of which…why did you feel the need to buy Winter Bell a combination washer and dryer, Clear Wing!?" I growl at my Synchro Dragon as I cradle his massive gift for Wind Witch Winter Bell under my arm. Seriously, if it wasn't for my demonic physic, I don't think I'd even be able to lift this thing.

"It is common and customary in many cultures to greet friends with a gift," Clear Wing indignantly replies. "And yes, Winter Bell and I are strictly platonic friends. Absolutely nothing romantic between us."

"Yep!" Dark Rebellion agrees, "That's why I made this rad mix-tape for Assembly Nightingale! Imma jam my way straight to yo' heart, baby!"

"Don't you dare play that mix-tape!" Clear Wing growls.

"Why not?" Dark Rebellion teases. "Ya'll afraid my mad rappin' skills goin' get between you and yo' girlfriend, Winter Bell's…" he chuckles, "…BIG BELL!?"

"WHY, YOU LITTLE…!" Clear Wing raves at Dark Rebellion before the two of them start wrestling…which doesn't really amount to much except for the cards in my Extra Deck getting shuffled a little bit as their cards bump into each other.

"Look at you, idiots." Says Odd-Eyes, shaking his head with disapproval, "Getting tangled up in those ridiculous relationships with your girlfriends when you should be preparing to utterly destroy the human race like we are destined to do."

"I think you mean entertain the human race like we are destined to do," Starve Venom corrects Odd-Eyes with a laugh.

"Oh, we'll entertain them," Odd-Eyes darkly replies with a low growl. "We'll entertain them more than they can bear! AND WE'LL DO IT WITHOUT THE NEED FOR GIRLFRIENDS!" he adds when Dark Rebellion and Clear Wing start fighting again.

"But what about you and Bloom Prima?" Starve Venom innocently asks, to which Odd-Eyes begins furiously blushing.

"Don't you…I mean…I just…she isn't…we're not…I just like her…I mean…I don't…I mean…I-I…SHE'S NOT MY GIRLFRIEND!" Odd-Eyes furiously stammers.

"QUIET, ALL OF YOU!" I roar at my dragons, shutting them up as I reach the dark, shady alleyway where Ray and I agreed to meet in the middle of the night for our "date." Quickly, I straighten out my spiky white-and-green hair before taking several deep breaths and approaching the bench where Ray is sitting.

That's when my heart freezes.

Standing above Ray is a strange man, eyes gleaming with malevolent and lecherous intent as he stands far too close to her for his own good.

"Blah, blah, blah, I belong only to Zarc and will never give my heart to you strange man who is obviously about to do something seriously evil to me," Says Ray with defiance in her voice.

"Blah, blah, blah, I am obviously a super evil guy who kidnaps girls like you, and there is absolutely no way you can stop me unless Zarc decides to intervene," the evil man laughs.

That's when I snap.

The next moments are a blur as I charge at the man with all my demonic dragon rage and fury. As I slam my fists into the vile villain, I'm not even aware of what I am saying, or anything else that is going on around me. All I know is that I wan't to hurt him, to punish him, **TO DESTROY THE FILTHY HUMAN WHO DARED TOUCH MY BELOVED RAY-SENPAI!**

"ZARC!" My sweet, beloved, darling Ray-Senpai, who I just barely managed to save from harm, shouts at me, breaking me out of my trance.

"What is it, my sweet, beloved, darling, angelic Ray-Senpai who I would literally do anything, and I mean… **ANYTHING** …for?" I ask, momentarily pausing in my annihilation of the now unconscious man, who I will probably later revive as an undead zombie through the powers of darkness just so I can destroy him again.

"Look, I know you're just trying to protect me and all," Ray explain, as she brushes the unconscious man under a nearby bench with her foot. That's right, Ray, you show that villain what happens when someone tries to hurt you! "But you can't just overreact…"

Overreact? But I thought you were supposed to destroy the people who threatened the people you loved.

"…all the time and disintegrate everyone who glances in my general direction," Ray finishes.

Despite myself, I feel a little annoyed at the last comment.

"I disintegrate just one guy," I mutter, thinking back on the rather embarrassing incident that involved a rather lewd mailman who had the audacity to look at Ray's face for more than five seconds and my ability to manifest the destructive power of Raigeki into the physical world, "and I never get to live it down."

"Zarc, are you listening to me?" Ray sighs.

"Yes, ma'am," I reply, not wanting to offend Ray, especially after she has gone through such an obviously traumatic experience with a strange guy nearly harming her.

"Look, Zarc," Ray patiently continues, "it's really sweet that you have such an unhealthy obsession over me, but I don't need you to be so overprotective. I can handle myself."

"But what if someone really tries to hurt you!?" I moan, nervously wringing my hands together as I think of the many horrific fates that could befall Ray, which the voices in my head have been warning me about. "The voices in my head have been telling me that everyone is plotting to take you from me! And my dragons have been noticing it too!"

"You got that right!" Dark Rebellion agrees. "Ain't nobody gonna hurt my Nightingale!"

"I love you, Dark Rebellion!" Assembly Nightingale chirps from Ray's Extra Deck.

"I know you do, baby! That's why I made this mix-tape so we could celebrate our-…"

"DON'T YOU PLAY THAT MIX-TAPE!" Clear Wing growls.

"I can't let that happen!" I continue, ignoring my dragon's bickering, "I can't let **ANYTHING** come between us!"

Ray seems to be a little exasperated. "I'm just saying it's a little excessive. Can't you…I don't know…tone it down a bit?"

Ray is clearly upset. I was only trying to protect her…from anyone and everything that could pose even a minor threat to her in any way, shape, manner, or form…but I suppose I have been taking it…just an eensy bit too far. Maybe I do need to let her handle herself…occasionally…when I am absolutely certain that absolutely nobody is spying on us and watching us and planning to separate us at this very moment! I should check the walls right now! You never know where they could be hiding! **JUST YOU WAIT, CREEPS! I'M ONTO YOU! I WON'T LET ANY OF YOU** …oh, wait, I should probably apologize to Ray now.

"Okay…I'm sorry," I reply, hanging my head down in shame. "I didn't realize I was upsetting you. I'll try not to overreact in the future…even though I love you **SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO** much and will continue to fret over your safety every second of my life."

"Oh, my gosh, hearing you obsess over me turns me on so much!" Ray breathes, stepping towards me.

"Wait, you're feeling…?"

She shuts me up by shoving her lips against my face.


	5. Worst Dad in the Multiverse

**DISCLAIMER!**

 **Happy Birthday, Shimmering-Sky…again?  
**  
WHAT RAY SAID

Zarc is already at the café when I get there, which is odd considering that our date isn't scheduled until next week. I think he's taken the whole concept of "arrive to the date early" just an eensy bit too far.

Still, it is sweet that Zarc is trying to be considerate of me, so I sneak up behind him, throwing my arms around him and giving him a gentle peck on the cheek. He jolts upright in response, summoning a horde of demonic flaming spirits through fissures that open up in the floor of the café, before realizing that it's just me and relaxing as he dismisses his legion of evil minions.

I smile at him as I settle down before ordering a light salad FULL OF KALE! (honestly, I don't know why I put that all in caps, except that I feel like it's part of some overused running gag) and a glass of water while Zarc orders half of a raw cow carcass for himself and a bowl of ice cream for both of us to share afterwards.

"So…n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-nice weather we're h-h-h-h-h-h-having today," Zarc nervously begins.

"Zarc, we're not in a spy movie," I tease. "But yeah, it is pretty nice today…despite the fact that we are literally in hurricane season right now and there is about a foot of water outside that is running through the streets with enough force to push cars while gale force winds are uprooting trees making this café an untenable safe spot at best."

"Y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-yy-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-yy-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-yy-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-yy-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-yeah…" Zarc replies as a torrent of water pushes a nearby bus into a river just outside the window of the café.

I don't miss the stutter. How can I when it takes up literally half the page?

"What's up, Zarc?" I ask. "Are you nervous about something?"

"W-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-what makes you think I'm n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-nervous about anything!?" Zarc stammers, eyes rapidly darting back-and-forth as sweat beads on his forehead. "I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I just d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-don't k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-now w-w-w-w-w-w-w-what t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-to s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-say."

"Well, honestly…neither do I," I admit.

We sit there for several minutes, contemplating our drinks while the hurricane continues to rage outside.

"I can't believe it's been ten years since we met," Zarc muses.

"It's really been that long?" I reply, surprised that that much time really has passed since we had our first…awkward meeting at that park.

"It honestly feels like it was just yesterday," Zarc continues, smiling softly at me.

"Oh, wow…" I breathe as I stare back at him, "…what you just said was so unbelievably romantic!" I clasp his hands with my own, so grateful that my dad hasn't shown up. Oh, man, I could only imagine how unbelievably awkward this whole romantic scene would be if the old man happened to-…

Suddenly, the doors of the café burst open and my dad, Leo Akaba, enters the café, the sound of thunder booming behind him just as he walks in. Throughout the café, teenage couples everywhere back away in fear as Leo fixes them all with his disapproving stare while slowly making his way towards the two of us, caught red-handed and awaiting his parental judgment.

"The sound of pure and innocent underage love has summoned me here!" Leo booms in his most intimidating manly voice. "WHO DARES TO CALL HIMSELF RAY'S BOYFRIEND!?"

"Quick, just run away and pretend you never met me!" I plead with Zarc, unclasping my hands from him and quickly turning away so we're not making eye contact.

"Never!" Zarc replies, "No matter what your dad thinks, I will never renounce my love for you!"  
"You don't understand!" I whisper back, "If my dad finds out that you are secretly my boyfriend, he'll…"

"Do what?" my father's voice booms overhead as he looms over the two of us, the intimidation of his fatherly physic outmatched only by how full and thick his head of hair happens to be. Seriously, I can't imagine what I would think if my dad were to go bald.

"Don't do it!" I mouth at Zarc, desperately trying to stop him from doing something brave…and stupid!

Zarc faces my father, managing to only shake a little bit with fear as he manages to square up his shoulders and puff out his chest before boldly proclaiming:

"I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I ray'sbofrid…"

Okay, so maybe it wasn't that bold.

"What was that, boy!?" my father booms. "Speak up!"

"I'm Ray's boyFRIEND!" Zarc shouts, voice cracking as he pronounces "friend."

Leo glares at him, hands balling into fists as veins pulsate against his forehead.

"You…dare…call yourself…her boyfriend!?"

"Yes?" Zarc squeaks, sounding not too sure about it himself.

"You would give your affection to my daughter, when she already has me!?" Leo continues, kneeling down so that his nose is touching Zarc's.

Zarc nervously shakes his head "yes."

…

"Well, that's wonderful!" Leo enthuses, face breaking out into an enormous smile as he pulls Zarc into a massive bear-hug. "I was wondering when Ray would make a move! My poor baby girl's been growing up so fast lately, I was worried she would never find someone to settle down with! When's the marriage gonna be!?"

Ugh…this is exactly why I didn't want to tell my dad that I was seeing someone. He's so UNDER-protective of me. I'm seriously surprised I've managed to avoid teen pregnancy with the way my father sets absolutely no rules or boundaries for me.

"Dad, we're not getting married," I grouse as Zarc steadily begins to look more and more confused.

"Now, Ray," my dad lectures, "you know that you aren't gonna stay young forever. You can't just wait till you're old and nineteen before you think of building a nest with someone. I want some grandkids before I'm 35 years old!"

"Dad!" I sputter, "I'm a freaking teenager! I'm still WAY too young to be making my own decisions without your loving parental guidance!"

"Oh, she's always been like this," Leo chuckles as he begins giving Zarc a congratulatory pat on the back. "That's why I told her she could stay up until 3 AM at night when she turned eight while letting her go on group dates when she turned nine."

"Erg! You are so infuriating, dad!" I huff, "You want to think that I'm already an adult capable of making her own decisions, when I'm still technically a kid! Can you be any less overprotective or even adequately protective of me!?"

"Oh, I'm protective of you," Leo laughs. "I'll make sure Zarc doesn't sleep with you right now. But seriously, boy, after you two get married next month, my daughter had better be pregnant with my grandkid, or I am disowning you in my will!" he adds, cracking his knuckles at Zarc.  
Fortunately, our food comes out before things can get any more awkward. Mortified by my dad's eagerness to get me hitched, I quietly eat my salad, making every effort to not bring up the topic of Zarc, marriage, or babies.

WHAT ZARC HEARD

The calendar says today is the Monday of the week before our date. With the harrowing events of what happened back then still on my mind, I make sure to arrive just an eensy bit early this time, despite my dragon's insistence that I stop by several department stores so they can buy their girlfriends various nonsensical gifts. Sometimes I wonder how I put up with my dragon friends.

I feel a pair of arms wrap around my neck. Reflexively I call upon the dark demonic powers gifted to me by my lord and master, Zorc-Sama to summon a legion of the undead from the underworld, when I feel someone's lips press against my cheek and realize that it's just Ray. Relaxing, I dismiss the legion of undead I summon, promising them that the time of the apocalypse will come, looking at Ray-Senpai as she sits down.

She's so beautiful.

Ray sits down in front of me before ordering a bowl of salad FULL OF KALE! and a glass of water, while I order my usual meal and a bowl of ice cream for us to share afterwards.

Unbeknownst to Ray-Senpai, there is…another reason I've asked her to go out with me today…or rather…next week, but today I guess since we've both shown up early. Nervously, my hand reaches into my pocket where I've hidden the ring. Today's the day! If only I could think of what to say or do now!? Why am I so nervous right now!? **WHY IS IT SO HARD TO BECOME ONE WITH HER!?**

"Yo, man, just tell her how ya feelin'," Dark Rebellion jams.

"It's not gonna get any easier or less awkward the more you wait," Clear Wing agrees.

"But I can't just ask her now!" I protest. "I've gotta warm up to it somehow! But I just don't know how!"

"Well, why don't you just start by talking about the weather?" Starve Venom suggests.

"Yeah…sure…that'll work," I agree.

"So…n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-nice weather we're h-h-h-h-h-h-having today," I nervously begin.

I immediately regret taking advice from Starve Venom.

"Zarc, we're not in a spy movie," Ray teases. "But yeah, it is pretty nice today…despite the fact that we are literally in hurricane season right now and there is about a foot of water outside that is running through the streets with enough force to push cars while gale force winds are uprooting trees, making this café an untenable safe spot at best."

"Y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-yy-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-yy-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-yy-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-yy-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-yeah…" I reply as a torrent of water pushes a nearby bus into a river just outside the window of the café.

"What's up, Zarc?" Ray asks. "Are you nervous about something?"

 **SHE KNOWS!**

"W-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-what makes you think I'm n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-nervous about anything!?" I stammer, hand reflexively darting into the pocket to hide the ring I bought for her. "I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I just d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-don't k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-now w-w-w-w-w-w-w-what t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-to s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-say."

"Well honestly…neither do I," Ray admits.

I breathe a sigh of relief, glad Ray bought my lame excuse. I don't know why, but I just don't feel like now is the right time to reveal my true feelings to Ray. I feel like the setting needs to be right, like, like we need to meet somewhere meaningful to us…like that park where we first met.

Slowly, my mind drifts to when I first met my sweet, darling, angelic Ray-Senpai. We were so young back then. How did the time fly by so fast?

"I can't believe it's been ten years since we met," I muse.

"It's really been that long?" Ray replies.

"It honestly feels like it was just yesterday," I reply, honestly feeling like I have known Ray for my entire demonic life.

"Oh, wow…" Ray breathes in a voice that gets my heart fluttering, "…what you just said was so unbelievably romantic!" She clasps my hands with her own before looking deep into my eyes, causing my heart to thump madly against my chest. Oh, I am so glad her dad isn't here. Could you imagine if-…

Suddenly, the doors of the café burst open and Ray's dad, Leo Akaba, enters the café, the sound of thunder booming behind him just as he walks in. Throughout the café, teenage couples everywhere back away in fear as Leo fixes them all with his disapproving stare while slowly making his way towards the two of us, caught red-handed and awaiting his parental judgment.

"The sound of pure and innocent underage love has summoned me here!" Leo booms in his most intimidating manly voice. "WHO DARES TO CALL HIMSELF RAY'S BOYFRIEND!?"

So it begins! The moment of truth! Even as every fiber of my demonic being wants to flee and await the judgment day when I shall reign fire and death upon all of humanity, including Ray's father, my heart tells me to stand firm against the intimidation of Leo Akaba and remain unwavering in my love of her!

"Quick, just run away and pretend you never met me!" Ray pleads with me in an effort to protect me. But I stand firm, determined to never leave her side.

"Never!" I reply, "No matter what your dad thinks, I will never renounce my love for you!"

"You don't understand!" She whispers back, "If my dad finds out that you are secretly my boyfriend, he'll…"

"Do what?" her father's voice booms overhead as he looms over the two of us, the intimidation of his fatherly physic outmatched only by how full and thick his head of hair happens to be. Seriously, I can't imagine what I would think if he were to go bald.

"Don't do it!" Ray mouths at me, nobly choosing to sacrifice her happiness for my sake. But I won't let her obviously overprotective father get in the way of our love! I shall overcome his parental control! **I SHALL DEFEAT HIM AND THE REST OF THE WORLD!**

I face Ray's father, squaring up my shoulders and puffing out my chest before boldly proclaiming:

"I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I ray'sbofrid…"

Okay, so maybe it wasn't that bold.

"What was that, boy!?" Ray's father booms. "Speak up!"

"I'm Ray's boyFRIEND!" I shout, voice cracking as I pronounce "friend."

Leo glares at me, hands balling into fists as veins pulsate against his forehead.

"You…dare…call yourself…her boyfriend!?"

"Yes!" I squeak, more sure of myself than ever before, despite not sounding like it.

"You would give your affection to my daughter, when she already has me!?" Leo continues, kneeling down so that his nose is touching mine.  
I nervously shakes my head "yes."

…

"Well, that's wonderful!" Leo enthuses, face breaking out into an enormous smile as he pulls me into a massive bear-hug. "I was wondering when Ray would make a move! My poor baby girl's been growing up so fast lately, I was worried she would never find someone to settle down with! When's the marriage gonna be!?"

Duh frik?

"Dad, we're not getting married," Ray grouses, unknowingly stabbing me in the heart with her words. No, Ray, you don't understand! We shall become one! I was gonna propose to you today!

"Now, Ray," Ray's dad lectures, "you know that you aren't gonna stay young forever. You can't just wait till your old and nineteen before you think of building a nest with someone. I want some grandkids before I'm 35 years old!"

For once I agree with her dad.

"Dad!" Ray sputters, "I'm a freaking teenager! I'm still WAY too young to be making my own decisions without your loving parental guidance!"

"Oh, she's always been like this," Leo chuckles as he begins giving Zarc a congratulatory pat on the back. "That's why I told her she could stay up until 3 AM at night when she turned eight while letting her go on group dates when she turned nine."

 **What!? You only let her stay up till 3 AM!? Why don't you just smother her and keep her in the crib, you overprotective monster! Come on! She's practically an adult! She can make her own decisions! Who are you to set a curfew for her!?**

"Erg! You are so infuriating, dad!" Ray huffs, "You want to think that I'm already an adult capable of making her own decisions, when I'm still technically a kid! Can you be any less overprotective or even adequately protective of me!?"

I'm honestly not sure what to make of this statement of Ray. Maybe she's still worried that her father will somehow harm me if she doesn't appease his overprotective nature.

"Oh, I'm protective of you," Leo laughs. "I'll make sure Zarc doesn't sleep with you right now."

 **HOW DARE YOU!?**

"But seriously, boy, after you two get married next month, my daughter had better be pregnant with my grandkid, or I am disowning you in my will!"

 **WHO ARE YOU TO TELL US THAT WE HAVE TO WAIT TILL WE'RE MARRIED!?**

Fortunately, our food comes out before I can utterly destroy the foolish mortal on the spot. As I dig into my meal, I finger the ring in my pocket, thinking longingly of Ray, marriage, and babies.


End file.
